It's so hard to let go of expectations. We all have them in every aspect of our life-from how we want our life to go, to how people should act and behave, to our relationships. For a long time I didn't realize that a lot of my mental madness in the past was due to my "expectations" of the situation not being met.
How do you let them go? You don't have any. Changing your views of a situation comes with accepting the present moment as it is. Why is that so hard? Why is it so hard to actually maintain your mind in the same moment as your physical presence? Because as human beings we tend to want, which leads our mind to think about the past and then jump to the future. And, ergo, the seeds of expectations have been planted.
It takes a conscious effort to stay in the present moment. I work on it every moment of every day. I feel the calm. And the expectations, like balloons, float off into the ether.
Just need to remind myself....
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Life-live it like you love it!
Today is a snow day as we are getting pelted with ice. Ice covers the ground and clings to the branches of the trees. Metaphorically, the ice reminds me of how not too recently my negative thoughts clung to the branches of my mind. For the past two years I have learned how to turn those thoughts into water, to let them flow into the path of least resistance, and oh what a relief it is to release them! Granted, they pop up every now and then but they don't take over!
I was in a relationship for 17 years. It was a tense relationship wrought with negativity, jealousy, and passive aggressive behavior. I walked on egg shells for years. I am a problem solver and my thinking during the relationship was to try to solve the problem of helping my partner find happiness so there would be peace in the house. In order to do that, I made things happen: School, jobs, moving, etc. Over time, nothing changed and I got tired; so tired, in fact, that I quit. From that time on, I vowed to never lose myself again and set out to determine the source of my own conflict. Through therapy, myriad readings, and too much rumination, I have a much better understanding about my thoughts and their affectations.
I have jumped back into life-right now I am in the process of finding my best friend and some of these posts will talk about the "men" I interchange with online and my own thoughts on dating. I know I have reached enlightenment for my own life-although it is a constant, daily, work-in-progress. Here's to life!
I was in a relationship for 17 years. It was a tense relationship wrought with negativity, jealousy, and passive aggressive behavior. I walked on egg shells for years. I am a problem solver and my thinking during the relationship was to try to solve the problem of helping my partner find happiness so there would be peace in the house. In order to do that, I made things happen: School, jobs, moving, etc. Over time, nothing changed and I got tired; so tired, in fact, that I quit. From that time on, I vowed to never lose myself again and set out to determine the source of my own conflict. Through therapy, myriad readings, and too much rumination, I have a much better understanding about my thoughts and their affectations.
I have jumped back into life-right now I am in the process of finding my best friend and some of these posts will talk about the "men" I interchange with online and my own thoughts on dating. I know I have reached enlightenment for my own life-although it is a constant, daily, work-in-progress. Here's to life!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
What's Next?
I am constantly asking myself, "What's next?" For the way I perceive and the way I think about my career, my life, my kids, my brethren and others that occupy this space and time with me, are forever evolving and changing. It's all pretty interesting and I wanted to share.
Blog is work in progress!
Blog is work in progress!
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